My coach Mary Gregory has written a book called Ego. I’ve started reading it and you might think that the book is about getting you to become more self centred and egocentric, but actually it breaks down how your ego works in strange and surprising ways! Below are the different ego traps she identifies:
1. Do it!
I can find myself sometimes trying to sort stuff as quickly as possible. It can be because I want to build momentum and get as quickly to impact as possible, sometimes it can even be just getting something visible achieved that day.
To tackle this, I try and prioritise what’s most important and urgent, and book in time further ahead to sort issues I don’t need to sort out today.
2. Solo flight
I’m very collaborative, but at the start of my career, I thought I could do everything without the need for help, I learnt that I enjoyed more working with others.
To tackle this, I start by identifying what I’m best placed to do — including where this means not playing a leading role — and what others can bring to a project.
3. I’m alright, jack
I’ve always asked for feedback and understanding how others feel, but sometimes when I’ve snowed under, I don’t do it as regularly.
To tackle this, I share feedback as much as possible immediately after the activity and ask for feedback, while having check in sessions with people.
4. Blaming others
I very rarely blame others (let me know if I do!). In fact, I often blame myself first, but if you find yourself in that situation, before you blame someone or yourself, create ways to share lessons learned, through show & tells or retros.
5. People pleasing
I love to please and always want to make sure I’m meeting other people’s needs and feel guilty if I haven’t acted according to my values.
To tackle this, I try and share my needs with my manager or coach and find out about other people’s needs and motivations.
6. Never good enough
I’ve learnt during my career that there isn’t enough time to be a perfectionist, but that’s prevent me from trying!
To tackle this, I will share early versions of work, like a skeleton slidedeck or a storyboard to enable people to provide feedback and a steer